YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize