Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
