real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
