alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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