How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
