if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
