Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
