I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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