i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
