Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
