2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize