We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ladies don't puke and tell
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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