it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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