dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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