i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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