Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
