question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
