if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
