Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Jerry, you need to find god
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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