I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
