I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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