those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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