I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
