I want to make a zoo with you.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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