I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
