Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
