it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
