drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
