I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
