Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
