just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
