Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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