I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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