If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
