It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
