I'm drive I can fine osifer
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
