he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
