You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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