Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize