people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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