i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
