"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
