I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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