Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
