Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
