i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
