We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
