...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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