I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
bring money and cleavage
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
