bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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