READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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