he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize