either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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