you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
