this beer tastes like vomit already
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
