There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
