Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
