I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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