My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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