did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
