I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize