I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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