Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize