We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so let's talk penis.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize