ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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