these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
