why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
