wanna go halves on a baby?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
