Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
