nut hugger
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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