Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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